Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
