so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
