you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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