She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
