drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
