it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
