Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
