he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
