I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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