Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
