lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
