dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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