I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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