Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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