If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
