Well apparently he's into motor boating.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just tell him i said nine months
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
