Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Welp...herpes.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
