she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
