well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
