I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
