i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
