I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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