How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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