ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
