Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We need to rekindle our bromance
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
