so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
