so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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