I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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