don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
