when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
