these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
