that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
