I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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