i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
