I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
