Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I party with great urgency now.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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