I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
