D3 body, D1 cock
Your mouth is God's brothel.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
