So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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