did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
