med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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