I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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