i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
NoShamevember. You game?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
