He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
