Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
