my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
