its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Enjoy the penises
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
