So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
