we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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