I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I still have a little drunk in my system
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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