Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
