It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
